To me, it's about honouring yourself as well as the horse. More choice on their part, more respect and authenticity on ours.
Here's a little secret...you don't HAVE to have a perfectly trained horse. You don't need to control it or be the leader all the time. Think about it...life doesn't work that way. It's not about rigidity. And it's not really what your horse wants. It's what you may want, or have been told you need.
Any animal in your care is your responsibility and of course you must look after it and ensure it's safe and healthy in it's environment. There are things horses need to know in domesticity - standing quietly while trimmed, float loading for safety, etc. This isn't about that. This is about relaxing a little, and learning to go with the flow. To work in the moment and take advantage of what is presented. Nature has it's own boundaries and you will encounter those.
A relationship with genuine connection is much deeper, safer, kinder, soul-reviving and fun.
Of course if you have a horse whose base nature lends it to want to learn dressage, or endurance, or show-jumping, or pony club, then go for it. But ask the horse first. If you want to do these things then great...just find a horse who feels the same. And learn to understand their way of speaking, and answering. Their behaviour will let you know what they want as well as what they need.
Don't ride just because people say it's the thing to do. Don't dominate or expect your horse to 'love' you for the same reason. Horses don't work that way. Walking away from your horse and allowing it to walk away from you is as greater declaration of 'love' - in the horses's eyes - as you could possibly imagine. Because you are letting them just be.
'It's a relationship, not a love affair.' It's about mutual respect. Once you allow choice and give to the horse rather than asking it to give to you all the time, amazing things happen.
Do what you feel is right. Not what you are told is right. Because that's different for each one of us, and only your heart knows.
Basically...
"Don't let the tamed ones tell you how to live."
~ Jonny Ox
“We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through.
Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home.”
- Australian Aboriginal Proverb
