“…Politicians and the advertising industry understand the concept of how our minds work, and use methods that work on us at a sub conscious level. You might think you are immune to their patter, but how many times have you used a biro, or a hoover, and called them by those names?... actually those two terms are the names of manufacturers, not the names of the products involved. You can see that those names have now become so common place that they actually form a part of the English language.
Exactly the same can happen if you continually apply bad 'labels' to your horse. If you repeat often enough that he's dominant, or bolshy, or pushy, or stupid, then eventually your subconscious will start to believe that... a lie repeated often enough becomes the truth!
What makes it worse is that once this idea is in your mind, you will subconsciously start to act around him as though those imagined faults are real. You just can't help that, indeed, you won't even realise that you're doing it... a very large part of our daily life is handled by our subconscious, leaving our conscious mind free to work on other matters.
To compound it even further, horses will willingly fall into the role that we make for them, this is a part of their skills at integrating with the herd... so the bottom line is this; If we call our horse stupid or pushy, that's what he will become... not because he is, but because he has picked up and responded to the subconscious signals that you've been giving him, and all he wants to do, is to fit in and please you to ensure his own survival.
If you change your mindset, and the terms you use to describe your horse, you can actually change him for the better.”
~ Colin Bland
Colin was a wonderfully wise man and we can all learn from his words. It's all in your intent.
We knew a mare who used to walk away from her owner every time the owner entered the paddock, because all she ever did was work the horse. The woman herself was an intelligent professional - but she was on a schedule. No time for hello. No time for play. Training and work. Of course the horse did not want to know her. Funnily enough, that same mare would walk up to my husband Kevin and his best friend at the time, because all they ever did was talk to and caress the mare. They acknowledged her and showed her affection and respect.
Word From The Herd...connection first.
Building and strengthening any relationship involves spending time together. Never miss an opportunity to smile and reward. Never miss a moment to be kind. Feeding, grooming, simply being with your horse in it's environment will help build that connection. Be thoughtful, be caring. Does your horse like to go on walks with you? (No riding yet.) Treat it to bodywork. Allow it time with other horses. Allow it time away from you. "Do unto others..."Then can come your requests, and training games, and possibly liberty work. But...and it's a big but...the horse has to want to be with you, and there must be a solid training base to begin with. Building blocks.
I hear people say 'but my horse doesn't want to follow, he's stubborn, he just stands there.' But...why should he go with you? What do you have to offer? What makes you a better choice than the herd? Or safety in his own zone? Think about it from his point of view. And don't expect anything to happen overnight.
Liberty can become just as much of a forced task if you don't - with genuine caring and intent - give the horse some equinely understandable reason to want to be with you. Watch the videos - some of those 'at liberty' are really not. They don't want to be there. It has turned into a lesson about control...and ego.
So give your horse/s a reason to stay. If a stranger approached you and demanded that you go with him, by yourself, into a strange building or off down a street you didn't know, with no introduction or explanation, and no indication of why you should do as he asks, would you go willingly? Think about it.
Connection. Trust. Positive reinforcement. Learn to recognise behaviour and body language. Learn Equus. Build the relationship before you ask the question. Respect the no and sensibly answer the horse's fundamental question with compassion rather than pressure or force...WHY should I stay?
Why?
As in any relationship, it's a legitimate question.
