"I prayed for Change, so I changed my mind. I prayed for Guidance and learned to trust myself. I prayed for Happiness and realised I am not my ego. I prayed for Peace and learned to accept others unconditionally.... I prayed for Abundance and realised my doubt kept it out. I prayed for Wealth and realised it is my health. I prayed for a Miracle and realised I AM the Miracle. I prayed for a Soul mate and realised I am the One. I prayed for Love and realised it’s always knocking, but I have to allow it in..."
~ Jackson Kiddard
Tricks and traps and little green monsters...that's what human egos are made of.
When we discuss the great philosophical questions of life, we should also acknowledge the harder questions...questions about our relationships and, in this case, our relationship with our horse/s.
Are we compromising our own values - doing it 'their way' (a certain trainer or horse professional's way) and not ours - to achieve something merely because we want the compliments of others? Or are we doing it because our horses truly enjoy it?
Are we doing what we do to feel safe and if so, do we need to rethink what we want to achieve if our 'feeling safe' means the horse (or any other creature we love) feels dominated, uncomfortable, unhappy or anxious?
Is there a better way?
Very often there is. Can we train more kindly to help the horse feel safer? Can we use less tools? Less pressure? Lighter hands? Improve our own riding habits? It's all possible.
Never stop asking the hard questions. Never stop learning or moving towards your joy, your passion. Because your heart knows what's right for you - and your horse. You may fail today. You may fail tomorrow. But keep trying. Trust the process.
Ask yourself...do we train trick after trick after trick, or involve horses in group therapy with no choice, or ride to higher and higher levels using more pressure than connection because that's what our horses find pleasure in, as intelligent, sentient beings? Or do we do it to prove something to ourselves or those around us?
If so, why? ...Can you achieve the same end by being kinder, softer, more caring? (Towards yourself as well.)
These are the difficult questions and the ones we should constantly review. We are ALL guilty of wanting to control our environment and those in it. Yes, to some degree, we are all guilty of this, and sometimes for very valid reasons. Don't beat yourself up over past mistakes. Forgive. Allow yourself the luxury of learning from them. Fail forwards. And keep reviewing your goals.
The fact is, sometimes we all need to turn it down a notch. Our egos, that is. The reality is, we can't all be conquerors. But we can all be brave, and we can all show compassion and understanding.
Some horses genuinely DO want to be involved and enjoy what we have in store. At Wadi Farm, we have two horses that truly enjoy being ridden. We have several that sometimes enjoy being ridden, and sometimes prefer learning tricks and exploring the bush. We have several that truly want to interact and help humans. Because we've helped them.
We also have several that want nothing more than to be left in their large, free range, bush riddled paddocks here, paddle in the dam, graze, roll, run...and be petted, fed and admired occasionally.
"It seems we all are looking for permission to truly BE OURSELVES...am I truly being myself or am I compromising myself and my values for the sake of the relationship?"
(Milton Avery & Windhorse Wisdom)
Have you asked your horses lately?
You can learn to listen less to opinion and your own ego, and grow in authenticity, and not compromise another's pleasure, comfort and boundaries. You can embark on this journey with your horse, if you are not on it already. Many of us are, without realising it. You can find joy and achievement in exploring and establishing what your horse enjoys too. You don't have to do what the world says you must. And if you feel that actually yes, you must do that - then do it with kindness and challenge yourself to find a better and fairer way of achieving those goals, if you can.
Your horse will thank you, and so will your heart.
