“It is a damaging false belief to expect our entire life journey to be a perpetual state of happiness.” ~ E. Denniss
Please note : this blog is related to (and perhaps a follow-on from) my 'Wild Sides' blog observations.
We all need them. Boundaries. At some point in our lives we've either (knowingly or unknowingly) crossed them, or allowed them to be crossed. Or else we've had little apparent say in the matter and been invaded. Sometimes violently.
Do you know an animal that has suffered the same?
Nothing in life is perfect, but horses remind us of the best way to maintain boundaries, without undue violence or anger. A few moments of higher energy within the quieter flow of the day. Body language and clear communication, that’s all you should need. Needs are important. Don't be afraid to express them. Horses do it all the time. Other herd members are usually very receptive and understanding, even if they don't agree with what's being expressed.
Hopefully, humans learn to recognise when a horse is indicating it has boundaries. If not, sometimes they level up. Learn to read equine body language. Learn about Calming Signals. Consider researching vibrational communication in vertebrates...
Because if you don't hear and acknowledge your horse 'whisper', you'll sure as hell feel it when they scream.
Horses can teach us a lot about establishing and maintaining clear and consistent boundaries, without anger or force or rigidity. Boundaries can flow, like a river between friends. The course may change but it's always still there, respected by all parties. It's achievable.
There is very little anger in a horse's interactions. If they become 'annoyed', they let it go very quickly. All they want to do is flow through their day. They'd prefer to do it quietly. Calmly. They only ramp up the energy if nobody is paying attention, or if they feel threatened or afraid. It takes a great deal of pressure to push horses to become seriously physical. It’s largely all body language. Watch closely and see. There’s really very little blood in the (natural) day-to-day life of equus.
Horses are innately gentle, and very sensitive. Especially wild borns. Their 'prime directive' is survival. Herd members are raised to understand equine boundaries, not human ones. Ours are different and sometimes we have to (as kindly but firmly as possible) show horses that we have boundaries too.
To do this we need to establish and maintain our own boundaries. Kindly but consistently. Horses (like most humans) like to explore their boundaries. They don't regard 'personal space' in the same light we do. They cross over to mutually groom, and reassure. Sometimes people think they are doing this to be pushy or dominant. But horses aren't like that. They are 'pushing' to offer support, or seek reassurance, generally. They nibble on each other to mutually groom - quite forcefully at times. In their eyes that is considered affection. Respect. Reassurance. Remember horses use both indications and applications of pressure. It's all just a part of the flow of their day.
Living in the moment, responding in the same moment, then letting go of that energy or emotion in the next, is perhaps what it should be all about whenever possible, yes?
FYI you may also like to read my blogs on 'Calming Signals', in conjunction with this blog.
(c) photos KAW
If this blog has raised personal concerns, and you feel the need to talk to someone straight away, here's a few (Australian) contacts you may find useful...
Lifeline 131114
Mental Health Triage 131465 Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636 Kids Helpline: 1800 551 800
Women's Domestic Violence Helpline
Telephone (08) 9223 1188 or Free call 1800 007 339
Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline
Telephone (08) 9223 1199 or Free call 1800 000 599
