"Where does judgement start? It starts with self..." ~ Kerwin Rae
I used to judge others harshly because I judged myself so harshly. Long story. Generational grief/core beliefs/trauma/undiagnosed ADH/not aligning with my values/the usual white privileged female life challenges.
It was exhausting. That leap to negative judgement is a very hard thing to let go of and I still have my days...
Horses aren't judgemental. That is, they make judgements to survive, not to 'judge'. The horses (particularly) and animals (generally), along with loved ones/mentors, helped me let go of much of my own negative judgement over the years and now I try to pass on that life experience through what we do here.
I'm also an introvert, which doesn't help with the judgement but is a big advantage when it comes to relating well to animals.
Kerwin Rae (another self-confessed formerly judgemental introvert), expresses it very well... 👇
“Where does judgement start? It starts with self…
In order for us to truly, deeply, honestly, authentically genuinely connect with another human being, we must be willing to relinquish judgement and we must be willing to completely accept people for who they are.
But in order to have (that) level of genuine relationships we must be willing to accept self. Because if we don’t accept self we are going to project onto others, and every time we see someone who expresses a disowned part of ourself, we will judge them. And when we do that we are reinforcing the rejection of that part of who we are.”
✨
To me, this doesn't mean you have to listen to/be with others you don't like. It simply means letting go of judgement and maintaining healthy boundaries in order for you - and those around you - to learn to grow in a positive environment, without negativity and hate. (Which is one of the worst forms of judgement.)
It means we need to try to live lighter, and be kinder, to ourselves and everyone else, while we are getting there. Being kind to yourself is all about healthy boundaries. If you can do this, things just fall into place and work. Because you are in the flow again and not 'stuck' in judgement, in the same way that people get stuck in fear and/or anger.
If you can do this - unlock that emotional flow again - it will change your entire relationship with your horses/equines. And every one else. Believe me.
photos (c) KAW
