"We make decisions with all the Light we have today, but tomorrow, hopefully, we will have more." ~ Mark Miller, Quaker
I chat to quite a few people about their horses these days, online and in person. One of the things that often comes up is a horse's attitude. And this often comes from owners who are working with their horses at liberty and really trying to do the very best they can. Even bitless, shoeless, etc...
They say their horse has all this choice but is still complying to things like 'come to me' with their ears back. They're at liberty, but their ears indicate they're not happy with that. They may be asked to stay with their owner, at their side, and walk at their pace. There's no halter or lead rope, although there may be another tool like a stick or horseman's string. The horse's ears indicate they aren't particularly 'happy'. Their tails swish and flick constantly (often a sign of equine emotion.) If they're at liberty, why aren't they happy? Some aren't even being asked to do much, just come to the human in a paddock.
This is where it can get difficult because honestly, most people are truly doing the best they can. First and foremost, good on you/the owner for recognising and questioning these behavioural indicators. We are genuinely trying to be kind and that's a great thing.
Now for the learning curve...and yes, we went through it as well...
Honesty and further questioning reveals that, basically, the horse is doing all the work. The horse has to circle. The horse has to come to them. The horse has to go at their pace.
So possibly not quite as much 'choice' as some people think. BUT it can be such a simple fix.
If your horse approaches you in the paddock voluntarily, thank them. Reward them. Give them a reason other than just your blessed company to actually approach. But at least half the time go to them.
Horses are constantly (constantly) asked to come in/stay with us, because we humans are (albeit often unconsciously) energy savers, ego-centric and dominant to boot. Our horses, as a result, can get very stale. Remember, herd life flows. Our lead-guardian mare Joanna 'does the rounds' regularly. She visits with each and every horse and checks in. She doesn't ask them to come to her.
Some people are horrified to discover that they actually haven't even thought about that back-and-forth 'sharing of the load'. It's okay. You're thinking about it now.
A good leader, and indeed a better friend, doesn't make their mate do all the work. They SHARE the burden. So don't ask your horse to come to you all the time. If they do, let them come at their own pace as much as possible. And at least 50% of the time, meet them half way, or go all the way to them.
You can do other things too. Let them walk ahead (and lead from behind if you will), or let them lag behind. Just relax and let them choose where and how they want to do things, more of the time. Please. Really think about what goes into an equal partnership.
The difference in their demeanour after a while will, I promise you, be nothing short of miraculous.
❤️🙏❤️
photo (c) KAW
